This past Thursday and Friday, school was canceled at Ban
Ku Muang School so that all teachers could visit two other schools in Surin and
Nakhon Rachasima provinces. (I still am surprised that teachers cancel school
for things that, to me, seem less important than teaching, but now that I’ve
been here for a year I shouldn’t really be surprised by this!) Our bus left
from Ubon at 6am on Thursday, which I had a problem with because I am not a
morning person. At all. I woke up Thursday at 445am feeling groggy, and then I
was seated on a ridiculous hot pink karaoke party bus in the first row (aka the
teachers seated me in front of the karaoke keyboard for the entire bus). I was
not amused. I spent the first two hours of our 8 hour bus ride with a blanket
over my head being miserable. Alone. The karaoke was SO LOUD. I’m not just
being a bad sport…I think that because the other teachers are older than me and
because they sing so much karaoke that they are deaf and I am not. I learned
something new culturally too, because I do not know many middle aged Americans
that would enjoy blasting karaoke at 6am (Mom, you would have died). Also, if
you’ve never heard Thai music, well, there’s a lot of marimba and men singing
with high pitched voices. To my horror, the karaoke started before the bus had
even left Ubon, and it continued for the next 8 hours. There were no karaoke
breaks. Not even at rest stops. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to kill myself,
or everyone around me.
When we finally reached the sweet relief of our first
school in Surin, my ears were ringing. However, it was very fun to be the guest
at a school, as I often see guests at my school every week (but I am never the
guest!) I was served coffee and a snack in my favorite mini plastic Thai trays
that every school seems to have. I love those things. I really enjoyed speaking
with a few of the M.4 students who were both surprised and thrilled that I spoke
Thai. They were so sweet. I also received one of the best complements I've ever received from a
teacher at this school in Surin: she heard me speaking Thai with the students
and came up to me and asked me confusedly if I was Thai J
By the time we got back on the bus, it was the afternoon
and I was back to my happy self.
Our bus was so ridiculous. I could not take it seriously in the broad
daylight. Neither could any American over the age of 5. However, that is one
thing that I LOVE about Thailand. Thais don’t take themselves or life too
seriously. They believe that the world should be colorful and fun and colorful.
I think that the other cars we passed enjoyed our bus’s decoration as much as
we did. Although, the inside of our bus was as much, if not more, hilarious
than the outside. It was entirely tricked out: There were sound paneled walls
so that the karaoke would work better (FML), 2 microphones (that I thought about "accidentally" spilling water on in the early morning), and multiple speakers
extending all the way to the back of the bus (no soul was spared). On the bright side, this experience made me question: Am I a boring person? No. No I am not. I just appreciate the little things in life. Like the ability to hear well into old age. The speakers in the front were
painted. There also were Thai
curtains. The teachers had picked up tons of 6 packs of “Spy” wine coolers (the
label says “made from the finest wine,” but trust me they’re gross). This bus
was the best.
When teachers pressured me to sing all of the English
songs they could find, there was no way I could say no (seriously, Thais do not
except “no thanks” when it comes to karaoke). So, if you can’t beat ‘em, join
‘em! I do believe in that. Sometimes. I was asked to sing “My Heart Will Go On”
from Titanic, as well as a bunch of 90’s hits that were never even popular in
the West (e.g. M2M’s “My Pretty
Boy”). Last week I learned that when you think that you can’t dislike a song
anymore, you can. The rest of the
afternoon was spent in the bus (about 6 hours), with blaring karaoke. Our bus
stopped for “kanom breaks” (snack breaks) every hour. I am not exaggerating. In case I was unclear with the math, we stopped for snacks 8 times. I
think that this whole trip was a conspiracy so that the teachers didn’t have to
work but could instead sing 16 hours of nonstop karaoke. It’s so Thai-style to
travel for 16 hours to a distant province for only a few hours of actual work. On an unrelated note, my
favorite rest stop had fake black leather massage chairs that you could pay 20
baht or so for a chair massage. Thais were jumping at this…there was not even a
chair left for me! I wish I had my camera so I could’ve taken a picture of the
Thais lined up for the rest stop massage chairs.
On our drive to Nakhon Rachasima province (also known as "Korat"- the old name), where our second school
was, all of the teachers insisted that we stop by the famous “Dukadah Farm.” If you're wondering what this is, you should be. I
had no idea what this meant either, but it was one of the most hilarious sights that
I’d ever seen. “Dukadah” in Thai means “animal/ doll figure," and is often used when describing stuffed animals. The
“Dukadah Farm” was shop upon shop selling silly clay garden decorations on a
little dirt road. You should have seen our hot pink fish bus try to back up on that road. Not
only were the clay figures hilarious, but EVERY single teacher bought one. We
had to shift bags around in the bus because of all of the dukadah that were
purchased and packed in large cardboard Singha boxes.
At night, all of the teachers stayed at Khao Yai National
Park. The teachers were 6 people to 1 room. I shared a bed with two other
middle-aged Thai teachers. That was fun. However, they did enjoy my nighttime
rendition of “There were 3 in the bed and the little one said ‘roll over!’”
On Friday we went to our second school, which was
actually a blast. The students were so sweet and were absolutely mesmerized by
me and all of my fab-farangness. When I went over to ask them how old they
were, and tell them a bit about myself, they were delighted that
“farang phoot Thai dai!” (I spoke Thai). Also, this never gets old. I always have students guess my age,
and I received guesses from 16 to 30. Awesome! It was so much fun hanging out
with them, and before I left I taught them how to do a “Western goodbye wave.”
Check out the pictures below. I also got a fever by the end of the day (I think karaoke-induced) so my host teacher put me back on the empty karaoke bus, on the back seats, to rest. There was no air and I remember waking up feeling like I was in an oven. The next time I woke up the bus driver was standing, and staring, over me. Fun times!
The highlight of the entire trip was on our drive home, getting pulled over by the police for speeding. I have never seen this happen in Thailand, and as soon as you see a picture of our bus you will see why this was so hilarious. I was seated in the very back seat and was bellied over laughing for probably 10 minutes. It took the bus so long to slow down, teachers were still drinking Spy, but...the karaoke was turned down (not off, but down, I'll take it). I felt like I was on an episode of "Seinfeld" or something. It was hilarious.
On a more serious note, I had a great two hour
conversation with our new Thai gym teacher on the ride home to Ubon. We talked
about Thai culture and American culture. He was stunned when I told him that
most dogs live in people’s homes in America (not running wild outside), and
that feet are no big deal in the USA. We also talked about noise (e.g. this
karaoke bus, cell phone ring tones, etc.) Previously in America when I rode on public
transportation, I always found it rude when an (Asian) person’s cell phone would
ring obnoxiously loud. Now I understand that it’s probably not rude in their culture!
They simply don’t know that it’s considered rude in America…really interesting.
We finally arrived back in Ubon around 9pm on Friday night. The whole 2 days
were one of the most hilarious adventures I’ve experienced yet this year.
Party on the inside, and party on the outside for all
of the mere mortal cars we swam past!
My favorite plastic Thai mini "visitor" trays!
P'Nuan and I
P'Nancy (middle) is so funny.
My school director asked if he could put his arm around
me and take a picture together. Not awkward at all.
Teachers!
Front row: Mahh Rose, P'Sam
Taking tons of pictures is so Thai :)
A cool Thai flag I took a picture of
The M.4 students who were fantastic!
Mahh Sarah, Mahh Nadia, Me, P'Natalie
I love this picture because the man on the far left jumped in
our picture last minute. No one knows who he is.
Love P'Natalie.
These Mattayom students wanted to take a picture together :)
Mahh Sarah loves me hehe
Some teachers at my school! (I am 3rd from the left)
P'Nuan and Me
Teachers
What a beauty
You can't be a serious person and ride in this bus.
PAAARRRTTTYYYYY
Karaoke time
Belting out a tune
I had the worst seat ever.
Sound paneled ceiling, and pink speakers all the way to the back.
How do you know this bus is a Thai bus?
The beautiful living room curtains.
Not a bad view from the bus.
(Surin province...a former Cambodian castle! It's crazy to
me that I've actually been here with P'Noon last November!)
So nice :)
But what are those?
Dorothy, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
Welcome to the Dukadah Farm!
Little boy
They are both cute and creepy at the same time!
And straight up odd!
That doesn't mean I didn't have fun with them
P'Natalie, be a good sport.
Wow these are scary.
Are they crying?
It bit my finger!
Peacocks
And chickens
(If I didn't have to take 3 planes to get back to Chicago
I would have bought one of these. )
And sheep!
Where's Waldo? I mean Emily!
Don't the two sheep in the truck look like real sheep?
These would be great for a baby Jesus nativity scene.
I would love to have these giant pitchers in my
front yard. Conversation starter, anyone?
The teachers LOVED all of the dukadah.
How about a life-size monk in your living room?
Did you think that these were real monks at first? I did.
I like these ladies. Would be a great "white elephant"
gift during the holiday season. Or a really hilarious
wedding gift (I mean, if you have an enemy..)
Someone bought a lot of dukadah.
Lucky.
If you think it's impossible to fit on your car, just ask
a Thai person to help you out. It's amazing what is
transported on automobiles here.
Khao Yai National Park
P'Justin! P'Justin is a math teacher at school and the
canteen cook! He is one of the kindest people I have ever
met, and this is my only picture of us. I will miss him so much.
Even though we didn't really see the park, we pretended
that we did by taking lots of pictures :)
The mist in the background was really beautiful.
Another amazing view we passed!
(Definitely not in America!)
School #2 in Nakhon Rachasima
The Thai writing says "Nam derm" (Drinking water)
Little adorable girls huddles together
Peace
Chatting it up with my entourage.
I know that other teachers were jealous.
I'm a fascinating person what can I say?
Learning how to "wave"!
Oh man, I love this so much.
This too.
Thai students are so loving and warm and FUN!
Group shot!
The real group shot!
I was offered a job to teach at this school. Not bad.
Mahh Sandra and I love each other.
Even though she called me fat once, I forgive her.
P'Noon lovin!
I love every single teacher here.
P'Peter poppin' bottles.
Seriously though, that's impressive without a bottle opener!
Party Rockin.
P'Oui and P'Natalie play with their food. Citizens arrest.
Mahh Nancy had one Spy too many and then
started dancing with a hot dog.
I think that this is a good place to end this post!
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