Etiquette & Culture in Thailand

This is a post that I have been WAITING to write for months.  Since attending a Thai dance performance this past Wednesday with my Thai family, Thai “etiquette” is fresh in my mind. I hope that you enjoy reading these stories as much as I enjoyed remembering them and writing them.

This Wednesday my Thai Mom (Mahh Lahng), her granddaughter (Nomurri) and live-in student (Nong) and I went to see students from a local university perform traditional Thai Khon Dance. The performance was held in the college’s auditorium- an auditorium similar to most university’s auditoriums. There was a stage, a red curtain, and cushioned chairs. With every performance in Thailand, whether it be a movie or a sports game, the King’s Song is played before (or more rarely after) the event. This is something that I found extremely odd when I first moved here. I went to a movie in Bangkok, and before the previews everyone had to stand up- arms at their sides- and silently watch a 30 second video of the King doing charitable deeds throughout Thailand. Also, the King’s Song is played throughout the country (on every TV and radio channel) everyday at 8am and then again at 6pm.  This particular performance started 30 minutes late, as is normal in Thailand. The pace of life is much slower and relaxed here, but it can be frustrating as a Westerner who likes things to be on time.  During the actual performance, people were allowed to take LOADS of flash photography. It was even distracting to me, as an audience member! Shockingly, telephones would ring and people would ANSWER them and have full-on conversations – in the auditorium- during the performance. It’s not really considered rude in this country to answer your phone anywhere. As a matter of fact, Thais get extremely offended if you do not answer your phone. Halfway through the performance Mahh Lahng reaches into her purse and pulls out drumsticks. Chicken drumsticks. And corn on the cob. I felt like I was at KFC! It was a complete fried chicken dinner, and it smelled like it. I asked her if it was okay to eat in the auditorium, and she said it was fine. She must have been telling the truth, because the people sitting around me didn’t seem to care! In America, someone would have definitely complained. Can you imagine pulling out a chicken wing during a ballet performance in the states?! Or answering your telephone during a show and then continuing to have a conversation?!

Restaurant Etiquette:

At restaurants, it is perfectly polite to start your meal when it is served to you. In other words, you don’t need to wait for everyone’s food to come. However, this usually isn’t an issue as most meals are family-style. Thais eat their food with 2 utensils- the fork and the spoon. The spoon is held in the right hand- used as somewhat of a shovel, while the fork is held in the left hand. The fork’s job is to help shovel food onto the spoon. There are no knives. Ever. (However, machetes are used to prepare all of the meals). Every time I eat with my fork in my right hand and nothing in my other hand, I am corrected by a Thai person. They laugh at me and tell I am “doing it wrong.” They think I am stupid, I know. I tell them that this is how we eat in America, and the expressions on their faces contain both intrigue and horror. Also, Thais do not usually eat with napkins. If they do, it is many times a roll of toilet paper on the restaurant’s table. (I guess this makes sense, but it is very funny to a Westerner to sit down at a restaurant and see a roll of toilet paper on the table). While many restaurants do not have napkins, nearly every restaurant does have toothpicks on the tables  to pick the food out of your teeth when you’re done. However, it is considered EXTREMELY rude to pick your teeth if you do not cover your mouth with your other hand.  (On the flip side, it is not rude at all to shove your finger 6 inches up your nose. Nose picking is a normal necessity in Thailand). Also, is it not considered rude to place bones from your chicken or fish directly on the table (not your plate). This took a little bit of getting used to for me! It is also common for Thais to collect and bring home chicken and fish bones, as well as not-spicy scraps from dinner in a plastic bag for their dogs at home (I guess this is where the term "doggy bag" comes from!) When you go to dinner at someone's house, they actually turn the TV on as soon as the meal starts. This has happened at every home dinner I've been to, and I've been to a lot of dinners. It's the exact opposite of Western culture, where the TV is usually turned off to enjoy company and conversation during a meal. Also, most Thai households do not have ovens.

Sidenote: Thais will try to stuff you with food until you are uncomfortable. In Western culture when you say "No thanks I'm full," the host doesn't pressure you. In Thailand, you are pressured to the point where it is extremely annoying (in my opinion). Similarly, I and many Fulbrights in Thailand have experienced the issue that when you tell a Thai that you are not free and that you're "busy" to try and politely turn their invitation down (as is an appropriate response in Western culture), Thais will then proceed to play "20 Questions" with you. Why are you busy? Where are you are going? Who are you going with? Well if you're busy now, what time will you be free? Sadly, we have found that it is actually better to lie to them, because they do not "accept" it if you say that you're "busy" or just need personal time. (In Thailand, there is no such thing as personal time.) It is appropriate to ask someone "bai nai?" (where are you going?) when you leave your apartment or home, and, as a farang, you grow to hate this question haha. It is also not considered rude to want to look in your grocery bag to see what you bought when you are coming back from the store. Oh! You learn to be tolerant and flexible in Thailand :)

Thai Straw Addiction:

Otherwise known as TSA. I don’t know what it is with Thailand and their straws (drinking straws), but they are given to you with any and every drink.  Including (drumroll)…sealed water bottles. I understand that sometimes with the lack of washing glasses straws could be viewed as a preventative health measure (you don’t want to put your lips on a dirty glass). However, I think the real reason for TSA is that Thais think that they look sexier drinking with a straw. I rebel against TSA by refusing to drink drinks with straws. TSA is slowly and unnecessarily killing our planet- one straw at a time.

Pedestrians do not have the right of way, and there is no tipping in Thailand.

Appropriate Topics of Discussion:

Pretty much anything and everything goes. Don’t be offended when someone, sometimes a complete stranger, asks you flat out what your salary is or how much the shirt you’re wearing costs.  Appearance and weight are also appropriate conversations. I have been asked how many kilos I weigh before, and called fat (“ouan!”) or even asked if I’m pregnant (!) many times. At first it’s shocking, but you learn to think it’s funny. It is appropriate to poke someone younger than you in the belly like the Pillsbury Dough Boy while calling them “ouan!”, or grab someone’s arm fat and jiggle it. One of the other Fulbrights is constantly asked “What’s on your face? Are those mosquito bites?” She has acne. In American culture, children are taught, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all." Thais have never heard of this phrase, and certainly don't live by it! Thais are also obsessed with skin color too. I am complemented on my white skin nearly everyday (I don’t think I’m even that much whiter than Thais- but they seem to notice even the slightest variations in skin tone), as well as my eyebrows, shape of my face, and nose. When I tell them that I don’t want to be white- I want to be tan- they look at me like I’m a kon bababobo! (Crazy person). Diarrhea is always an appropriate topic of conversation, even at the dinner table. Back in December, one of the first questions a fellow teacher asked me was, “Have you had diarrhea yet?”

In Thai culture, asking questions about money or commenting on appearance- both positive and negative- is not seen as rude because it is simply seen as stating fact. How could stating fact be rude? (I see this argument! If you’re fat, everyone sees that you’re fat. Therefore, it is not rude to call you fat!)

Impolite:

 As a woman, wearing a skirt above your knees, exercising in shorts, or showing your collarbone are considered impolite (“mai supap!”) in Isaan. (Obviously, Bangkok is a large fairly Western city and is very different). Throughout Thailand, however, feet and shoes are considered very dirty and lowly. Anytime you enter a home you must remove your shoes. Sometimes even public bathrooms will have slippers outside of the stalls for you to change into so that you don’t (God forbid…I mean Buddha forbid!) wear your dirty outside shoes into the crapper. I find removing shoes in public places to be pretty gross. Again, I have gotten used to it. However, if I had a Thai enemy I would love to stomp around their house- wearing my shoes.

The Thai Wai:

The Thai Wai is unlike any other gesture I’ve yet to experience. “Wai-ing” someone is when you place your palms together with your hands facing upwards in a “praying” motion. The different heights of wais are significant, as well as who wais who first. The three “wais” include a wai at chest level, a wai at nose level, and a wai at forehead level. Thais wai other Thais to greet each other, express gratitude, or request forgiveness. Younger people should always greet elders by waiing them first, at the “mid” nose level wai. The elder person “accepts” this wai by waiing them back with a chest level wai. (The higher the height of the wai, the more respectful). The forehead level wai is only really used with monks, to my knowledge- to show complete respect and submission.  One of my favorite parts of Thai culture (too!) is that before any speech or before getting in front of a group of people/ performing a service (e.g. flight attendants, masseuses, etc.) Thais will deeply wai the audience with a bit of a head bow as well. My masseuse waied me before beginning my massage last night, and it was so special! Last semester some of the students at my school stole from me, and their grandmother apologized to me/ pleaded for forgiveness from me by kneeling down and waiing me deeply. (For an elder to wai a younger like this was moving). Plus, you don’t need to worry about germs when you shake hands! (Although there are enough other germs…) The Thai Wai is by far one of my favorite, most beautiful pieces of Thai culture.

Jai Yen

“Jai Yen” means “have a cool heart.” I love that many Thais live a relaxed, unrushed “cool” existence. It is so completely different from the hectic, chaotic, stressed-out American culture that I am familiar with. Before coming to Thailand, I didn’t even know that it was possible to live such a “sabai sabai” (comfortable, relaxed) life. The Thai language has over 700 (something crazy like that) words involving the word “heart,” or “jai.” I love this piece of Thai culture.  I think that, generally, Thais enjoy life more than Americans.

Losing Face

The concept of “losing face” or being embarrassed or humiliated is one that I find fascinating. Many Thai students are very shy and don’t like speaking English out loud because they are afraid that they will make a mistake in front of their peers and then “lose face.” This year I have been trying to teach my students that making mistakes when you learn a new language should be a goal, actually, because it means that you’re practicing speaking and you will be more likely to remember your mistake. Losing face also applies to issues you might have with another person. For example, last year one of the Fulbright’s houses was completely unprepared for her arrival. However, she couldn’t directly tell the landlord that she was upset that her house wasn’t ready because that would be questioning the landlord’s integrity (I know- to a Westerner it doesn’t make any sense). She had to “go around” the issue by talking to other Thai teachers, who then talked to friends of the landlord, who then talked to the landlord. The  “Thai approach” is a very indirect, almost passive aggressive approach. Telling someone that you’re upset with or who you feel “wronged” you to their face why you’re upset is not the Thai way. First you must gossip to your friends that you don’t like them or have a problem with them, and then go “indirectly” around the issue. Being from America, I have found this to be challenging. When I have an issue, I think it’s easier/ better to be as direct as possible, and I expect the same back with me.  While it’s important to me to respect Thai culture, it’s also important to me to stay true to my own culture and teach people that different cultures have different “styles” of dealing with things. With my students, I am sure that I have a collection of faces.

Karma:

Thais vehemently believe in karma, as well as many other superstitions (E.g. Did you know that Thais believe that it is bad luck to point at a rainbow? They believe that your finger will fall off. I am not making this up- this has been confirmed by many different Thais throughout the country who I’ve met.)  If you are sick, you must not drink cold water (one of my personal favorites). Due to the Buddhist belief in reincarnation, you are not supposed to kill anything. (I was once told not to try and clap a mosquito that had just bitten me!) It is also taboo (considered bad luck) to call babies cute. Instead of calling them cute, which might make the gods jealous, you can call them ugly and everyone will know it's a complement. God(s) forbid, you don't want a cute baby! Also, karma’s a bitch. 


Heads: Heads are considered the holiest part of the body, and feet the lowliest. Therefore, if you are older than someone (a "Pi") it is okay for your to touch someone's head who is younger than you, but not if they are older than you. It is very impolite to sit with your feet up if someone is near your feet, and it is also considered rude to "point" at things with your feet. I have made a "foot mistake"in Thailand 3 significant times that I can remember. The first time, I was teaching my students the word "shoe" and I took off my shoes and waved it in the air. Looking back on this, I think that this was a big no-no. The second time was early on a Sunday morning when I was driving with one of my host teachers to a wat to feed the monks breakfast. I was sitting in the passenger seat of the car, and had just bought mangoes and put the bag near my feet. My host teacher almost freaked out, telling me that if those mangoes were to be eaten by monks, they could not be anywhere near my feet. The third time was just tonight. I was, again, driving back from an art fair with my Thai Mom. I bought a lovely carved wooden Buddha, and, again, absent mindedly placed the bag it was in near my feet! 

Karaoke: 

Do you like it? Or do you love it. These are your only two choices. Considering that Thais are very concerned with Losing Face, it befuddles me that no one in this country is embarrassed to sing a song. Many Thais' ideal Friday or Saturday night involves loads of food, beer and whiskey, and singing karaoke with your friends for 6 hours. There is no such thing as a noise violation in this country. Thais love their noise. 

Stereotypes I have heard about American’s, or more generally “Farang”:

Okay first, let’s talk about how hilariously racist and dangerously general the term “farang” is.  “Farang” literally translates to (any) white foreigner. However, it is a perfectly acceptable word to use in everyday conversation. I will be at a restaurant and hear the waiter ask the Thai friend I’m with, “What does the farang want to eat?” I am often asked to translate things from Thai into “Pasa Farang” or “Farang Language.” People, there is not one farang language. I think that you mean “English.” One of the things that has been most shocking to me since moving to Thailand is that I’ve discovered that the concept of Political Correctness does not exist here. That is (especially) an American thing. Instead of using the word “farang,” Thais might as well call white westerners “aliens” or “rich white skins!” Here goes a short list of stereotypes I’ve heard- about “farang” of course. (Don’t flatter yourself, Americans!)

-       Farang like to wear seatbelts

-       Farang like to be on time

-       Farang like to eat mangoes

-       Farang are all Christian

-       Farang are so rich!

-       Farang like to wear blue jeans

A few questions I’ve received:

1.     Does America have schools? (My response: That's how I got here)

2.     Does America have homeless people? (My host teacher asked me this, and was surprised when I told her YES!)

3.     Do Americans know about Thailand?
4.  Do Americans eat rice every day?
5.  Does America have sticky rice?
6.  How much does a watermelon cost in America? A papaya? (Thais are usually stunned when I tell them that we don't have many of the tropical fruits that grow in Thailand)

Riding the Songtaew:

Songtaews are the public form of transportation in Thailand, and they are essentially covered pick-up trucks with installed benches in the back. It is 10 baht, or about 33 cents, to ride the songtaew in Ubon. I ride a songtaew almost everyday home from school. When riding in a songtaew, it is very common for men to give their seats up to women  (if there are no free seats). One time when I was in Chiang Mai, the driver of the songtaew actually got out of the drivers seat to come yell at a man who was sitting when I got on and had to stand. He said in Thai “You’re a man, you stand! The lady sits.” Well done, Mr. Songtaew Man! It is also very normal, and expected, that young people give up their seats to anyone elder than them. Just yesterday I rode a pretty packed songtaew, and I observed both men and youngsters giving up their seats. I gave my seat up as well to a maybe-40 year old woman who got on after me. It felt damn good. On the songtaew, it is also very normal to strike up a conversation with anyone and everyone. It is a very confined space, so it’s almost hard not to. This is one of my favorite parts about living in Thailand- the friendly strangers that want to know everything about you as soon as they find out that you speak Thai.

School:

Thai schools are extremely different than American schools. (I can’t speak for other Western schools). Tin Thailand students are extremely respectful of their teachers, and “wai” to them first in the morning or upon passing. (The younger person should always wai the older person first).  Before school starts, students are sweeping the classrooms and school grounds, trimming the shrubbery, watering the plants, and helping prepare food in the school kitchen- tasks that would be “outsourced” as other grown-up jobs in America., or even be considered child abuse. When a student speaks to a teacher, they bow beneath them to make sure that they are physically smaller than you. When I’m eating at lunch- sitting down- students will crouch if they come to talk with me. Teachers have students help them carry their laptops and bags to their classrooms from their cars in the morning, and send them to deliver things (like worksheets or snacks) to other teachers throughout the day. I think that Thai teachers would be horrified if they taught in American schools. Students in American schools are given much more “power,” and are often viewed as much closer to an “equal” to their teachers. Thai schools are also huge on discipline. Uniforms must be worn appropriately, and girls must sit down with their legs tucked to the side when they sit in their skirts. Boys must have short hair, and girls must their hair no longer than their ears (cut in a bob!) If their hair is too long, sometimes teachers will line these students up and cut their hair in front of everyone. Fingernails must be short and clean, and there are regular “fingernail checks” at my school. Boys must hold out their hands at an assembly to show their teacher. If their fingernails aren’t to the teacher’s liking, s/he will flick them with a switch and tell that students he needs to clip his nails that night.  (Hitting is still used in many school in Thailand, but in my experience it has never been violent. As a matter of fact, the students laugh when a naughty boy gets lightly swatted.)

Telephones:

Like I mentioned earlier, it is extremely rude to not answer your cell phone- no matter the situation. In the States, if you are busy say, in a meeting or teaching a class, you keep your phone away, and if it rings you do not answer it.  You have priorities. In Thailand, the number one priority is answering your telephone. Even if you are at (drumroll) a wedding or a funeral. (I have experienced this first hand. It was shocking).  Also, if for some crazy reason you do not answer your phone, it is appropriate for the caller to call you four or five times, within four or five minutes. (Because that’s gonna make you answer!) In America, if you call and leave a voicemail (or even just have a missed call) it’s assumed that the other person will see the missed call and call you back. I should also add that is not taboo to ask a complete stranger for their cell phone number. Just this morning we had Thai visitors from another school at our school. They often like to talk with me, asking me where I’m from and how many years I’ve lived in Thailand. Yesterday, a very kind visitor came into my class and asked me “Where you from?” After I answered her question, her Question #2 was “What is your cell phone number?”…as she took out a piece of paper and a pencil. This is when Emily tells Thai strangers that she does not have a telephone in Thailand.

Cameras & Photos:

Considering that many Thais would like cell phone numbers of complete strangers, it makes sense that they would also want photographs of complete strangers (almost always white foreigners). I cannot tell you the number of times I have been asked to be in photos with complete Thai strangers while out and about. Most noticeably, at the Royal Flora exhibit in Chiang Mai in January, I offered to take a photo of a Thai family so that the entire family could be in the picture. Contrarily, they wanted me to be in their photo instead. Standing in the center. All 7 cameras from the different family members were passed to the Thai photographer. As a Westerner I think, Why would you want a stranger in your picture? Hilariously, I know that these photos are often developed and framed, as my Thai Mom has a picture of her and a farang child (a complete stranger she met in Cambodia) framed in her living room. I wonder how many pictures there are of me framed in living rooms throughout Thailand? (I have literally taken hundreds of pictures with Thai strangers).

Sidenote: Thais don’t smile in photos. This is very funny to me and many other Westerners. When Thais take photos, I now refer to them as “having their funeral faces on.”

It is also not considered rude to shove a video camera in your face. There have been many times at school where visitors enter my classroom while I am sitting at my desk- sometimes eating a snack, and I look up and there is a video camera a foot away from my face. Even just last week at the Ubon Airport when I went back to check if the airline had found a camera I lost on a plane, a stranger pulled out his video camera and stood about two feet behind me- filming me as I talked with the airline representative. Totally normal in Thailand. The concept of “privacy” is very different over here. At times it’s flattering and fun because you feel like a celebrity, but other times it feels invasive and unwanted. If you’re one of those people that hates their picture being taken, do not come to Isaan.

Birthdays:

Birthdays in Thailand are not a big deal. As a matter of fact, birthdays being an “individual” celebration is a Western value. Most Thais celebrate (all Thais’) birthdays collectively on “Father’s Day” or “Mother’s Day” - the King and Queen’s Birthdays. (Another example of this “collectivist” mindset is witnessed in the communal, family style meals). In Thailand on your birthday, you celebrate by making merit at the wat in the morning (usually feeding monks). While you do wish “Happy Birthday” on a birthday, it is quiet. Many people don’t even tell you it’s their birthday until the day of their birthday- when they will quietly whisper, “Today’s my birthday.” In America, people know it’s going to be my birthday the day after my birthday is over- 364 days and the countdown is on. Not to mention a week before letting the (world) know. In Thailand, there is no party or cake or presents. In America, I like to wear a crown on my birthday and have a party…ME! ME! ME! ME!

Also related to birthdays, Thais are continuously stunned when I tell them that I don’t know the day of the week I was born on, or that I don’t know the meaning of my name. In Thailand, there is great significance (and superstition) related to the day of the week (e.g. Monday, Tuesday, etc.) that you were born. Every Thai knows the day of the week they were born on. When a Thai person asks me what day of the week I was born (a common question) and I tell them that I do not know, they think that I do not understand their question. 

Things I Was Surprised by When I First Arrived in Thailand (and now feel kind of silly for feeling surprised):

-       Loads of people riding in the back of pick up trucks

-       Being surprised when my students told me they’d never flown on an airplane

-       Being surprised when my students had never heard of Shakespeare (why would they…the beauty of Shakespeare’s writing lies in his English!)

-       Children, young children being extremely skilled at cutting things with machetes

-       Seeing students and teachers alike dress up in their Thursday “scout” uniforms- complete with knee socks and bouret (This must be what 1950 America felt like)

-       Seeing teachers flick students with sticks or rods (This must be what 1950 America felt like)

-       Seeing a student try on a Khon Dance crown at school and thinking it was a joke (It was huge! And I’d never seen one before. Definitely not a joke.)

-       Girls holding hands or linking arms with girls wherever they go; Boys “touching” each other as well- either resting their hands on each others shoulders, or lying next to each other while watching a movie (in a 100 percent platonic, chummy way. Love it.) 
My 9th Grade girls are interested/ not embarrassed reading Disney princess books I brought 
Machetes are everywhere, and used for cutting everything. I once had a student bring a sword to school.

-       It being completely acceptable for me to wear purple and pink and flower-painted shirts (Again, love it)

-       Thais being so obsessed with white skin that they wear sweatshirts and pants on 100+ degree days, and the first question they ask if you tell them you saw a cute Thai boy is “Was he white?!” (The Thai version of asking “Was he cute?!”)

-       It being grammatically correct in the Thai language to refer to yourself in the 3^rd person

-       Calling, and viewing, everyone “Pi” or “Nong” before their first name (Older or younger brother/ sister)

-       During orientation when my Thai director told me that every family has a framed photo and calendar of the King of Thailand in their home, I thought she was kidding.

-       Seeing larger than life posters of the King of Thailand throughout the entire country- from Bangkok to Ubon to Chiang Mai to Phuket and so on. Constant reminders that I am in a far away land.

-       Thai names. Every Thai person has a long “real” Thai name and then a nickname that they are commonly known by. Nicknames are often colors, animals, or weather elements. My favorite nickname is “Beer.” I teach 2 Beers.

-       All of the Thai teachers have arbitrary English names that they picked out and go by (with me), but have no idea what each other’s English names are and didn’t teach me their Thai names. No one ever knows who I’m talking about, and I never know who anyone else is talking about.

Gender Roles:

Men and women are not equal in Thailand. Thailand is a country that caters to men. Men and women participate in typical gender-stereotyped roles. Women do the cooking, cleaning and childcare, and men are the primary breadwinners. Also, women have children at a very young age- I would say from 18 to 25 is the average, normal age in Isaan. Interestingly, just last night my Thai Mom asked me how many children I want to have. I told her 4 (I’m not sure I want 4, but I wanted to see her reaction). She laughed, and told me that it “was too late,” because I would already need to be married and have started. I told her that it’s not too late at all- in America women have children in their 30s and sometimes even in their late 30s. Mahh Lahng made a disgusted facial expression and told me that “that’s not right.” In another interesting exchange, a few months ago I went over to my Thai family’s house to learn how to make a Chinese snack for the Chinese New Year. All of the women sat on the floor on a rolled out floor mat. (Of course, with our legs tucked “politely” behind us instead of sitting in an “impolite” pretzel-style).  I asked Mahh Lahng if Paw Owt (my Thai father) wanted to help us. After looking at me like I had just asked the strangest question in the world she responded, “No of course not! Paw Owt is a man. Men don’t cook!” I told her that in America many men enjoy cooking, and that, more importantly, many women enjoy when a man cooks even more! (Once again, I found myself thinking, I have time traveled back in time and I am living in the 1950s.)

My Thai Mom also told me that if a woman likes a man, the man must visit and pursue her, and not the other way around. When I told her that in America when a woman likes a man, it is okay for her to travel to see him, she looked both stunned and horrified, yet again. Mahh Lahng told me that it is also not polite or acceptable for girls to ride on motorcycles with boys. Girls should ride with girls, and boys with boys (because riding a motorcycle is SO sexual). When I run in a tee shirt and Sofe running shorts (which are athletic shorts that pretty much every girl from 15 to 25 owns- they are not spandex and are definitely not trying to be sexy), she told me that they are “impolite.” I am not allowed to show my collarbones or sexy knees at school, and wearing pants is frowned upon (1950s…). Once when I was wearing a tee shirt Mahh Lahng told me that I should wear a vest over it to conceal my breasts. (I’m sorry, this is my body and I have breasts and I am dressed conservatively in a tee shirt not showing cleavage. No, I will not wear a vest to make myself look like a man. I am proud of being a woman!!!) In this culture, having breasts and being a woman is almost viewed as a negative thing. It is highly valued for women to be virgins when they first marry. However, few men are. In fact, it is known and accepted that many Thai husbands cheat on their wives. While I do not support this, I understand it. Women put up with anything in this country involving their husbands: cheating, physical and mental abuse, and whiskey-drinking alcoholics. However, I have been told by women that it is “impolite” if I as a woman drink alcohol. In some ways, by believing and saying things like this the women are helping to enforce their secondary roles in society. (Again, Bangkok is very different than the rest of Thailand).

Bangkok, and Thailand more generally, is a place of polar opposite extremes, in that you can be walking down the street in Bangkok and walk past a street vendor selling dildos as you also pass an Islamic woman completely covered except for the slit where her eyes are. Thailand has a blatant prostitute industry (even though prostitution is illegal- although many people think it’s not because it is so well known what areas of the city to go to and “in your face flashy”) where women dressed in bras and panties dance provocatively outside of Go-Go Bars in Bangkok, yet the overarching valued culture is that women must be virgins when they marry. Don’t even get me started on prostitution, but I think that it’s one of the telling signs that women have not reached true equality with men in a country. 


Wedding rings are not a thing here. If you want to know if someone is married, you have to ask.

On a final note on this topic, at Thai weddings, the groom and his family must provide a dowry for the bride’s family. I was at a Thai wedding in November and I was absolutely shocked that part of the wedding ceremony was the groom’s family actually physically presenting the bride’s family with gold bracelets and jewels, one by one showing the crowd each piece that they were handing over in “exchange” for the bride. I have asked a few of my Thai Bangkok friends, and they say that this is a normal practice in Thailand, even in Bangkok. Then they asked if most Americans use dowries too.

My Thai Mom, Mahh Lahng, and I eating corn and

fried chicken in an auditorium earlier this week.

Thai Khon Dance performance

(Note: This was the crown a student brought into school

one day that I at first thought was a joke...I'd never seen one!)

A traditional Thai Dancer dances while the music

ensemble (left) plays the accompanying music.

Khon Dance is really beautiful, and very different.

A dancer in a cool elephant mask 

(Elephants are considered holy in Thailand)

A lovely, delicate dancer. Her costume was so sparkly

I wish that this picture came out better!

Traditional Indonesian dance. It was so neat- they danced

with these "sashes" that were attached to their skirts.

The performance tasted even better with fried chicken.

A public restroom at the White Temple in Chiang Rai

with "public" slippers to change into before squatting 

over their squat toilet. Debate: Is this more or less 

sanitary than just actually leaving your own shoes on?

The Thai Wai

Thai students wai their teachers in respect on

Teacher Gratitude Day

Children are taught from an early age to wai their elders first

Thais waiing a Buddha image at a wat 

(Shoes off, of course)

This is one of my oldest pictures from Thailand.

Waiing next to Ronald McDonald. Tourist much? :)

The Thai Wai in a Citi ad at Bangkok's Suvarnabumi Airport

Decorated speakers BLASTING music at a village parade.

Thais love their noise. Also, YES.

(I sadly don't have a picture of this, but "advertisement-pick up trucks" 

drive around everyday BLARING ads. Never in America. So funny)

Karaoke. 

Riding a songtaew (covered pick up truck with installed

benches) in Ubon. There are "buzzers" to press when you want to get off. To get on,

just flag one down on the side of the road. (The Thai "flagging down" or "come here" 

motion simply requires holding out your hand towards the ground and quickly 

touching your fingers to your palm... different than the American up in the air waving motion.)

Thai Government (girls) school uniforms

Students help prepare food for the teachers at school.

(Notice the machetes, and that there are no boys)

More students helping prepare food in the school kitchen

(I adore these girls)

Even younger students help tidy up around the school

Students must take off their shoes before entering a classroom.

Teachers are allowed to keep their shoes on, 

showing a different level of power.

Kru Emily: What is strapped in the back of your belt?
4th Grader: Just a knife!

One of many many pictures I've posed in for strangers

Another photo with complete strangers.

A pick up truck loaded with people- something that I found shocking 

when I first arrived. My host teacher thought I was crazy for taking a 

picture of something so arbitrary.

"Muslim Prayer Room/ Waiting Room for Monks" sign

at the airport. Shocking to see this the day I arrived in Thailand.

"Please Offer Your Seat to Monks" sign on the 

Bangkok BTS. Shocking (cool!) at first

Monks on the backs of motorbikes are not shocking to 

me anymore, but I really enjoy seeing this image :)

Cars in Bangkok (outside of Chatuchak Market)

I included this picture because it is just so Thai 

with all of the happy, very bright colors. It also 

was something that I noticed when I arrived from the US.

The day I helped "the women" make Chinese New Year snacks.

After telling my Thai Mom that many men in America like to cook.

Women teachers at school help prepare a meal.

This was just so "Thai" to me I had to include it:

Someone pre-peeled these oranges to make it easier

for people to eat them. So hospitable! Very Thai.

Dressing conservatively

Thais are obsessed with white skin, and they are conservative.

The two boys fully clothed in the water (left) are Thai. 

It is not unusual for Thais to wait until late afternoon to go for 

a swim, and to go swimming in long sleeves and long shorts.

(My students think it's scandalous that I own a bikini haha)

It's not raining, just sunny.

White skin means beauty and wealth in Thailand.

(Dark skin means that you're a farmer and poor. In

America, dark (tan) skin means that you have money

to go on vacations and relax. So interesting!)

Thais are very supersitious. Three is considered a lucky number.

Even better than the number three is multiples of three haha.

Here in Bangkok, I make sure to bang the gong three times.

A tree wrapped with ribbons and draped in lucky 

jasmine wreaths for good luck.

Checking out the belly of a turtle to see if it 

has any lucky or unusual patterns. 

(This is why I love living in Thailand...)

Evidence of a Collectivist Society: Family style meals 

The concept of political correctness does not exist in Thailand.

Here is a list of Visa fees for various countries (mainly "rich farang" countries :)) 

at the border crossing into Laos. At the bottom of the list: "The Other Countries"

Thai Funeral

Guests must wear either black or white clothing.

Here, guests make their way to a shrine to deposit

a paper flower that each guest (is handed) that will be 

cremated with the body (beautiful if you think about it :))

Holding a beautiful paper flower that will be cremated with the body.

Also interestingly, beautifully wrapped coins are thrown in the air as

guests make their way to the shrine (yes, hitting you in the face)

Thai Wedding

Notice the bride's beautiful traditional attire

The father of the groom presents the dowry to the father

of the bride in front of all of the wedding guests. 

(Here he takes out a gold bracelet from a pouch.)

At Thai weddings, guests can not wear black attire.